TROUBLE IN PARADISE?
Prior to starting this little project, Mr and Mrs F wrote a pact that neither of them would file for divorce for at least six months after their Affordable Dream House was finished, the dust had settled, the smoke had cleared, and the wounds had healed. Then they both signed on the dotted and had a good laugh.
They aren’t laughing now, that’s for sure. I won’t remind you that I predicted this from the get-go. Mr and Mrs F build a house together? Try tossing a dog and a cat into a gunny sack and saying, “There! Now make it work!” For starters, they have diametrically different work styles. Mrs F is visionary, organized, detail-oriented, decisive, direct. Mr F, on the other hand, is Mr F. Working solo, twenty-two years ago Mrs F built their house on Raintree Road in Flagstaff in three months. With Mr F leading the charge on the Payson project, excavation and trenching alone took six weeks. Framing dragged on for over three months. To speed things along, Mrs F finally started making daily punch-lists. For instance:
Tell framers to move the 20x10 window in the guest bathroom to the bathroom in the basement. Install the new 20x20 in the guest bath
Tell framers to build a pony wall by the entry closet; reinforce floor below it—accident waiting to happen
Install last panel of glass in the master bedroom slider
Tell framers to install T&G on exterior deck (south-west side)
Add plywood under-siding to two pop-outs (east and west sides)
Install insulation in two pop-outs (before adding plywood)
Call painter-light a fire under him; needs to stain exterior T&G before it’s installed
Painter needs to paint exterior fascia, soffits, exterior beams before stucco work
begins
Get out of the hammock, please
After their blitzkrieg start, did the HVAC guys just pack up and go on vacation? Check up on that
And what’s up with the plumber? Another fast start gone cold?
Ask framers about house-wrapping the rest of the exterior
Tell framers to make the niche in the entry smaller; you could fit a bay whale in there
Get out of the hammock
And that was just the morning “to do” list. Things were getting a little tense in the cozy little one-bedroom apartment until Mr and Mrs F held a family council and determined that the true source of their discord was not their Affordable Dream House itself or the sub-contractors or either of them but yours truly. Apparently, if I had written posts that were a little more positive, up-beat, and faith-promoting, the house would be finished by now and Mr and Mrs F would be celebrating their triumph on the white sands of Bora Bora. Instead, I am once again in the doghouse which wouldn’t be so bad if Mr and Mrs F had at least re-modeled it with some of their left-over T&G.